Malkia: This Girl is FIERCE!

by Emma Bartley

Poet. Student. Sister. Daughter. Refugee.

When she opened the door in a camouflage dress that said “Slay All Day” and a smile that lit up the room, I knew that I was going to love her. I wasn’t disappointed. Malkia was one of the wisest, most insightful, and most intriguing people I have ever met.

Malkia is FIERCE.

I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to meet this fascinating girl!  Malkia is a Congolese refugee born and raised in Rwanda who has re-settled in my hometown.

I met Malkia at her apartment, which was located about 25 minutes from my home.  As my mom and I meandered through the complex trying to find the right door, we heard several languages and saw people of many different cultures and colors.

Malkia’s apartment is small and humble, but filled with a family that clearly loves and respects one another. Outside, her family’s clothes were drying. Before even entering the door, I was smiling. From the amount of clothing, I knew that Malkia must have a large family…I already knew we had something in common.

One of Malkia’s brothers opened the door and was very polite. In fact, I noticed that the entire family was so polite! Malkia and her siblings repeatedly called my mom “Ma’am.” Her siblings listened to Malkia and immediately did the small tasks she asked them to do while we were there.  They shook our hands when they met us and were overall very welcoming.

Malkia met us at the door and was so warm and approachable. She invited us in, and we sat down and began talking.

Malkia has two sisters and three brothers. She is the second child in her family (just like me!) and is sixteen years old (just like me!). Her parents are from the Democratic Republic of Congo but left Congo as refugees and went to Rwanda, where Malkia was born and raised. I was so surprised that she had only moved to the United States one year ago, because her English was fantastic! Even more impressive, she writes poetry.  After some small talk, we dove deeper into her story.

What was it like in Rwanda?

Malkia said that life in Rwanda was very hard. Her house had only 3 bedrooms, and their bathroom was outside. With a subdued voice she explained that when she was about eight years old, her father abandoned her family and moved to South Africa. Her French-speaking mom was left to provide for her large family.  She worked as a secretary at a school for awhile, until employees were required to speak English and she lost her job. Her mom began to sell jewelry after that, and Malkia said that life got harder.

In a normal day, she would wake up and make sure her siblings were ready for school. She then would attend school from 12 to 5. After school, she sometimes stayed after with her friends to read or study. She laughed and talked about how she wasn’t very good at math and had to study extra hard for that class.

School was very expensive, though, and her mom was struggling to pay tuition for six children. Malkia, her older brother, and her younger sister volunteered to stop going to school because they wanted to make sure that the youngest three kids received their education. They were so smart that the teachers could not bear them leaving school and allowed them to attend one year without paying. However, the following year they had to quit. Only one month after leaving school, Malkia and her family received the news that they were going to the United States.

What was your trip to the United States like?

Malkia said that coming here was like a miracle. The trip took twenty-five hours; they flew to Belgium, then New York, before boarding the plane to their final destination. Excitement outweighed fear.  She couldn’t wait to go back to school.

She laughed thinking about the first few days in the US. Her family members kept saying it was a dream, but all she could think was, “How can 7 people have the same exact dream?!”

Malkia kept feeling like she was going to wake up and go through her normal routine and get her siblings ready for school, as she did in Rwanda. She smiled and giggled and told me that her brother said, “Just go outside and you will know you aren’t in Rwanda. There are white people!” Her face lit up when she talked about moving to the US.

What was it like when you first got here?

When Malkia first got here, she knew how to read and write English, but she could not speak it, which was the hardest thing about moving to the US.  She understood other people, but had to communicate by writing what she wanted to say. Malkia was a fast learner, though. She was determined to learn to speak English during that first summer in the United States. She went to classes at the ESL School at Catholic Charities, but also spent her time reading English books, watching TV, and listening to English songs. When she came back to school, her principal and teachers could not believe she was the same person because she could speak so well!  Before long, she was even writing poetry!

What did you think of the US before you came? After?

Malkia knew that the United States was a good country, but she thought that beforehand the US was for “Americans only” and it was a country of “English only.” After she came here, she realized that the US is really a big melting pot. She compared the US to a quilt; just as a quilt is made up of different blankets and pieces of fabric, the US is made up of people from many different backgrounds and countries.

Malkia loves how you can be who you want to be in the US. She said that in Rwanda, you had to be who others said you had to be. Her talents, like her poetry writing, were not recognized as they are in the US.  Her US teachers have encouraged and supported her poetry writing, helping her to publish several pieces.

Do you go to school? What grade are you in?

Malkia is going to be a sophomore. She is proud to say that she and her siblings have never failed. In fact, Malkia got all A’s her freshman year!

Malkia could have been a sophomore based on her age when she came to the US, but she was placed in the freshman class because she wasn’t able to speak English. She was very frustrated about this at first, but her good friend, Antoine, gave her some important advice:  “You can’t run if you don’t know how to walk.” Malkia was still determined to prove that she could be a sophomore. She worked hard and ended up with all A’s with the exception of a B in her math class. She could not stand having a B! She talked to her teacher and worked harder and she pulled the grade up to an A.

Malkia talked about the friends she made in high school.  Her good friend, Antoine, was also a Congolese who had lived in Rwanda and moved to the US. He was a great help to her and encouraged her to study hard and prove herself.  Malkia went on and on about how kind Antoine was. But then, she teared up as she explained that Antoine passed away in a car accident towards the end of the school year. She vividly remembers the day of his funeral. Malkia and Antoine were supposed to go to the library that day to receive awards for reading a certain amount of books during the school year; instead she went to his funeral.

After Antoine’s death, Malkia didn’t want to go to school anymore. She saw Antoine everywhere she went. But her mom asked her, “Would Antoine want you to quit?” Malkia knew she had to work hard for Antoine. Their goal had been to study hard, earn scholarships and go to college.  That night she stayed up all night preparing for her science exam. She was exhausted, but did her best.  She was so excited when she received her exam grade: a 100%!  She had worked hard, and she knows that Antoine would have been proud.

“Our tears are colored the same.” -Malkia

What has been the most fun thing you have done since you have moved here?

Malkia said that she has had so much fun spending time with strangers. Although, they don’t feel like strangers to her; she is comfortable with everybody. I believed it; Malkia is such a warm person and has such a wonderful personality! Malkia said that people would first describe her as smiley. She said that no one at school can tell when she is mad or sad, because she will still be smiling.

What beliefs/traditions from Rwanda do you want to keep that are different than US culture?

Malkia said her Christian faith is her tradition.  Her church was very important to her growing up and she has joined a church here in her new home, which she loves.

What is your happiest memory of Rwanda?

Her happiest memories are of her neighbors, a couple who treated her and her siblings as grandchildren. Her “Grandpa” would play the guitar for her and taught her to read and write English.  Their love was inexplicable, and Malkia once asked him why they were so kind to her family and treated them just as they did their biological grandchildren.  He explained, “I saw you for the first time, and I just loved you.”  He moved to a new home while they were still in Rwanda, but two or three times a week he would walk 5 miles to spend time with Malkia and her family just because he loved them so much. He is the person that she misses most from Rwanda.

“We may speak different languages, but we smile the same language.” -Malkia

What are your dreams for the future?

When Malkia grows up, she wants to help other people. She wants to be either a psychologist, therapist, or social worker.

Malkia also wants to write poetry. Malkia has published poems online.

Malkia’s Poetry

Malkia wrote this poem after Antoine, her dear friend, died.

Click here for: “Who Can Listen to My Cries? Who Can Listen to the Cry of My Pain?”

Malkia wrote this poem to describe the plight of refugees.

Click here for: “Help Me”:

Malkia wrote this poem after President Trump was elected.  The children at her school, many of whom are refugees, were scared that they would be sent home to their war-torn countries.  Many were angry and acting out.  Malkia decided to write a poem instead.  She said that she was writing this poem at 3am when her mom came home from work. After translating the poem in French so that her mother understood, her mom couldn’t believe she had written it because it was so good! Her mom then added ideas and helped Malkia finish this poem.

Malkia was so wise and mature beyond her age. She mentioned that at eleven she was already cooking for her siblings and had become a “little momma for them.” She had many words of advice.  Here were a couple of my favorites:

1. Malkia told me how important it was to behave and be kind to others. Malkia makes sure that she is always good because her siblings look up to her. If she is misbehaving, her siblings will think that it is okay to behave in that way.  She knows that her example will impact the future generations of her family.
2. Malkia says that we make ourselves suffer if we listen to the negative things that others say about us; we have to ignore it. When she was younger, she would become upset when people made negative comments about her father leaving her family.  But then she realized that these people were not trying to help her family, they were trying to hurt them and their words were unimportant.  She reminded herself of the blessing of her mother’s love, kindness, support, and compassion.  She knows that happiness is an attitude, and happiness depends on you.

I am so glad that I was able to meet Malkia. This girl is the epitome of what “She is Fierce” is all about. Malkia has become a hero and role model to me!

“Happiness is an attitude, and happiness depends on you.” -Malkia

Get involved!  1) Volunteer in Louisville at the Migration and Refugee Services through Catholic Charities OR 2) Find the resettlement organizations in your State.