You’re in Control…But Not Too Much

written by Kate H.

Do you ever feel as though you are trying to micromanage your life? Like you plan everything down to the last detail and when things don’t happen as you planned your world is falling apart? This feeling is very common, especially around this time of college applications and thinking about moving on to the next stage of your life. In order to feel prepared, we think we must plan every last detail ahead of time. Planning like this, however, is exhausting and only leads to more stress when things do not go as planned. It is important to realize that you are in control of many things in your life, but you cannot possibly control everything that happens to you…and that’s okay!

This weekend I had the pleasure of interviewing my grandpa on this topic. He and I are very close- literally and figuratively. He lives five house down from me and I see him at least once a week. He is a compassionate leader, full of wisdom from over 50 years of experience working for Kroger. From growing up on small farm in London, Ohio to receiving his first job as a bag boy at 16 years old, my grandpa continued to work at Kroger for the rest of his career. Now retired, I asked him to reflect upon his experiences and share some of his advice.

How has your determination and initiative helped you achieve success?

You’ve got to set priorities and know what your goals are. Ultimately, attitude is everything. Positivity is everything. You cannot let others bring you down. We’ve all heard the phrase, “one bad apple cannot spoil the whole bunch”, but I disagree. If that apple -or bad attitude – is strong enough, it can spoil the others. However, a positive attitude is infectious too. Another good phrase is, “It’s hard to see clearly when you’re crying.” This statement is true not only literally but figuratively. If you can find the good things even in defeat, whether it be in sports or something else, you can make the most of the situation you are in.

Was there a specific moment you can remember where something didn’t go as planned? How did it make you feel and what lessons did you learn?

One time, a really great employee came into my office crying, and he set his office keys on my desk. He told me he was upset with the leadership of the head of his department and did not want to work for him anymore. He was phenomenal at his job and really good guy all around- I did not want to lose him. I explained how valuable he was to our company and also told him I would do whatever it takes to improve the leadership that was making him upset. He insisted that he had thought this through and wanted to quit. So, I took his keys and put them in my desk drawer. I told him that my office is always open and I would leave the keys there over night. I told him that, if after thinking about it overnight, he wanted to keep his job, he could simply walk in, pick up his keys, and no one would ever know about their conversation.

When I got to the office the next morning, the keys were still in my desk. I was disappointed that it seemed as though we were going to lose him. However, around nine a.m. he came into my office and asked for his keys back. He said he realized he had made his decision too quickly and wanted to keep his job. He told me he really appreciated my refusal to accept his resignation and that he was willing to work with me to better his department.

First, I learned that it’s okay if something unexpected happens to you. But I also learned that just because you are surprised does not mean you should just give up. You have the power to react to situations in your life and decide how to handle them.

Now that you have retired and have perspective on your career and your life, would you say you created most of your experiences or most just happened to you and you reacted?

Most things in life just happen to us. But we have the ability to take something that happens to us and make something else happen from it. I have found that unexpected events create opportunities for growth. It is important to have an objective in mind and make small goals that will help you along the way. Then, if anything unexpected happens, you can revisit your objective, look at your goals, and hopefully turn whatever happened into something that can benefit you and contribute to your goals.