The Power of Giving Others the Benefit of the Doubt

written by Emma Bartley

“Give people the benefit of the doubt, over and over again, and do the same for yourself. Believe that you’re trying and that they’re trying. See the good in others, so it brings out the best in you.” ― Liz Newman

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to give others the benefit of the doubt. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt means to believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either. This small decision can make a huge difference in your relationships.

If someone does something that seems misguided to you, it most likely makes sense to them. People do things for different reasons. Instead of judging people for their actions, try to understand why that person did what he or she did. You never know what they are struggling with, and you don’t know why they choose to act in certain ways.

“Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.” –Anonymous

We can all think of examples of judging someone only to find out that they were struggling with unknown challenges. When you give others the benefit of the doubt, you remove this negativity from your life.

I know this can be hard. It is human nature to want to make sense of things we see and hear, so when we hear an incomplete story, we try to fill in the details. Instead of filling the stories with negative beliefs, fill other people’s stories with compassion. The person with the scowl is not a grump; rather, they are having a bad day and need a smile to brighten their day.

By choosing to fill stories with kindness rather than negativity, this will change our interactions with others. When we fill in the story with negativity, we often begin our interactions ready to fight or confront those made-up ideas. But, if we fill their stories with compassion, we will begin our interactions with kindness. It is amazing how this little decision can so heavily impact our relationships.

Don’t be angry with yourself if you can’t do this at first. For some people, it takes a lot of time and patience. But, when you do begin to give others the benefit of the doubt, the relationships you have with others become blessings.